My daughter is 15. When I was 15 I was trying to stay alive. There is much of my young life that I wish I could have changed. I did what I needed to do to survive. According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs a person need their basic needs met in order to live. A person, young or old will do what ever they need to do to have these needs met. I did not want my children to have to struggle just to have their basic needs taken care of. I wanted better for them. I did not think that by trying to make their lives better I would get such disrespectful bratty, ungrateful children.
I regret that I have not been the typical mother. I am the breadwinner in this family. I have done so shortly after Christopher was born. That is when my husband was laid off from work. This is the beginning of the end. Maybe if I was the traditional mom none of the attitudes and personality traits that my children no display.
I remember at 15 wanting so much to go to the Catholic High School, not the public high school when I moved back to CT. But my grandmother could not afford it. She worked hard for minimum wage. My father never sent her my social security check and never sent any type of support. He took me off of his insurance. So I had nothing. My grandmother struggled so hard just so we could eat, she tried so hard to give me things that my classmates had, just the basics. I remember just getting to have a small roast was a very big deal. There was food for me to eat, it was warm and filling, but it was not healthy.
There are a lot of problems with the region school system that I would have to send my daughter. They messed up my son’s education terribly. I did not want them doing that to my daughter. I also did not want the principal to take is anger out on my daughter when she didn’t do anything. With this said I took another job, job number 4 so I could pay for her to go to a Catholic High School that had a wonderful reputation. The school costs $7500.00 plus books and uniforms. My daughter is now a sophomore (10th grade). Her first year she struggled to get use to high school but she ended passing her classes. This year I received a notice that she was not doing well in a few of her classes so I took away her phone, TV, and computer until her grades improved. I relied on my husband to check on her and her work for two reasons the first is because I work all the time, and the second is because I cannot climb the stairs to check on her.
I opened the mail today she is failing all of her classes. She didn’t even pass open book quizzes. Each subject stated the same she did not turn in homework. Some projects were worth several exam grades. She had a DNA project she needed to complete was one project. Another was a 5 paragraph that she had not turned in or even started in English class.
I flipped. I sat her at the dinning room table and told her when she was not in school and until I knew her homework was complete that is where she would sit. No hanging out in her room. No TV, no radio, no cheer-leading, no swimming, no riffle and revolver club, no zoo, no scouts. No nothing! Then I asked her what her essay was about she just looked at me and refused to answer me in defiance. She sat at that table from 11 am until 7:30 pm when she announced she was going to bed because she was tired. Do I know for sure she went to sleep, no and of course the husband was doing what he does most of the time, sleep. Tomorrow we begin sitting at the dinning room table again until her homework is finished.
I even called my niece for some help some tutoring form her. My niece is a teacher. First I texted her, she never answered the text, not that I really believed she would. So I finally called her about 4 pm. My niece explained she was going to the store with her mom and would call me when she got home. It is now 9 pm and she still has not called back. I shouldn’t have expected any difference. When I call asking for help for anything for the children I can count on one hand when they have helped me, but if my husband asked they are right there to help. After 19 years you would think I would be considered family…anyway my niece I not going to help me with Alexandra’s tutoring. The tutoring center wants $3000.00. I have no more energy to work any more. I don’t have enough hours in the day to work a 5th job. She is an ungrateful little brat.
When I was her age, before I came to CT I had to worry were I could get something to eat, a place to sleep and bath, and hoping the payment wasn’t to psychologically deep for me. Everything had a price.
I have to add that this weekend I needed to work on my homework before they throw me out of my PhD program. I haven’t turned in anything for a while. I needed to have a quiet few days to work. I need to be calm and be able to focus. That did not happen. I have worked so hard to get were I am. No help, people fighting against me getting an education. I have finished all of my course work, the only thing left if to write my dissertation. A dissertation is just a very long research paper. But it is very in-depth and you need to be able to concentrate. Because I cannot do it at home and my loans are about to run out I am left with having to go to the schools writing retreat. This will cost me 1995.95 for 5 days. This includes the hotel the retreat and breakfast. I have to buy the plain ticket to AZ (that is where the next one is Phoenix, AZ) and I have to have money for food and transportation to and from the hotel and airport and if I need to go to the store for school supplies. So add another thousand dollars to the cost. I also have to find someone who can fill in form me in my classes because I do not have any more days I can take off. SO if class runs I can go without a loss in pay. I signed up for this, but that is 3000 dollars that was for bills from my income tax, not something I could just spend willy-nilly. I am so sick about this. 7500 dollars for her school and if she stays back that is another 7500 dollars, 3000 dollars for tutoring for her and 3000 dollars so I can go do my homework; all because my daughter is being an ungrateful, spoiled brat. I am sick, I cannot continue to work and pay all the bills. Don’t ask he does nothing. When he doe so to work he doesn’t contribute to the household bills nothing, not even a dime. I was told if I divorced him I would have to pay alimony. I cannot afford that; I cannot afford the attorney. I barely make the bills and no one helps me. The ungrateful daughter doesn’t even do one chore. She has them but she does none of them and it is fine wither father, again he has to supervise this because I am working so he lets her do nothing… I am so tired… so upset knowing that my children don’t give a rats ass about me and what I have worked so hard for them for.
